Up to this point, you might be thinking my online dating experience doesn’t sound so bad. I’ve met a couple of decent guys and even though things haven’t worked out, I’ve managed to avoid the dating horror stories of meeting up with a guy who turns out to be twice the age he lists on his profile, or doesn’t look remotely like the stud his pictures suggest.
This might be because I was a bit picky with my swiping, or tended to be a bit cautious about who I chose to meet up with. I was a single girl in a big city after all. I definitely had my guard up to protect myself first before meeting up with some random guy from the internet.
My luck however was about to run out.
During the summer, I had been chatting with this guy for a week or so when we finally made plans to meet up for drinks at a bar just down the street from my apartment. The exact details and time for the date had been confirmed earlier that day so I felt confident that this date was going to happen. I spent some time agonizing over what outfit to wear and finalizing my perfect don’t try too hard make-up and headed to the bar.
I walk in and there’s no sign of a single guy waiting for his date anywhere. I hate being the first to arrive in this situation which is very difficult for me. I’m definitely a 5 minutes early is on time and if you’re on time you’re late kind of person. But on a first date, there’s that awkwardness of whether to wait for the person just outside the bar, inside the door, or go ahead and get a table or seat at the bar. This place is not too crowded, so I choose a seat at the bar figuring it won’t be hard to spot my date coming in from there. I order a drink, and nervously begin the waiting game. I continue to wait, staring down everyone who comes inside or even walks by the windows on the street outside hoping for a glimpse of my date.
As I finish my beer, I’ve been waiting for a good 45 minutes, and it’s become very clear that this guy is not showing up. I pay my tab and head home fuming that I’ve just been stood up. I mean, we just confirmed our date earlier today. He can’t have forgotten, and unless some serious emergency came up, there’s just no explanation for this! We hadn’t exchanged numbers yet, so I couldn’t text or call him to see what happened.
Well, if I was waiting for an explanation, I hope I wasn’t holding my breath. The next day an email comes through from him that simply reads “Should we try again?”
That’s it. No sorry for missing our date. No reason for his absence. This guy is mental if he thinks I’m going to try to see him again. I let him have it in my return email, explaining how not ok it was to stand me up and then expect a second chance. No, sir we will not be trying again. Did I miss out on something good here, or save myself from some crazy internet creep? I may never know, but I’m fine to live with that.
I’m certainly not the first girl to be stood up, and I know I won’t be the last. So why does this happen? First, there are scheduling things that come up. Particularly when a date is set in advance, it’s possible that something else comes up in the meantime that a person needs to cancel for. However, it’s still not acceptable to just not show up. A text or message letting the other person know you can’t make it is common courtesy. Second, I understand that meeting strangers from the internet is nerve-wracking. Some people might let their anxiety get the best of them and chicken out. Again though, a short explanation or apology is in order. Finally, he could have been a weird stalker and was watching from another location to scope me out first. I seriously doubt this since he asked for another date, but you never know what kind of creeps are out there. I do not recommend that method though. Man up, meet your date, and if they’re not what you were expecting, find a way to politely excuse yourself from the date.
Sadly this was my last date in Chicago. It left a bit of a bad taste in my mouth for online dating. It was my first glimpse into the part of online dating that is not all fun and exciting. At the end of that summer, I moved to Baltimore to begin my masters program and a new path. Of course, along with living in a new city comes all sorts of fun new dating stories.
Until next time when the search for a Baltimore boy begins,