Baltimore

Early Morning Coffee

Photo by Burst on Pexels.com

Since my foray into Tinder didn’t yield many results, I also decided to give the free app Hinge a try. Hinge seemed like a slightly better and more mature version of Tinder. It required a few photos along with answers to at least 3 question prompts and the standard basic questions about height, job, kids, drinking, politics, etc. Another aspect of Hinge that made it a bit different from all the other apps was that you could like or comment on a specific picture or statement when matching with someone. That handy feature at least allowed me to see what pictures people were responding to most and gave a little bit of a starting point for conversation beyond just a bland Hi, how are you?.

Super Like

So late one evening I was searching through my matches and available profiles when I noticed a guy whose pictures really stood out. This guy was very good looking with captivating eyes and an adorable smile. As I scanned the rest of his profile, my excitement dipped a little as I saw he was only 25. Even though I’ve had a history of liking younger guys, I was really trying to steer clear of that in hopes of finding a more mature guy who might be looking for the same type of serious relationship that I was. He was also Indian which is not normally a type that I seem to be attracted to, but he was just too good looking not to give him a shot. Hey maybe what I need is to go for someone a little outside of the comfort zone I’d been searching in because clearly that wasn’t really yielding the best results. He had also super liked me so he was already showing that he was super interested in me. I convinced myself that he sounded more mature than a typical 25 year old in his profile so I went out on a limb and matched with those beautiful blue eyes. 

Samir was quick to respond to my messages and we had a good conversation going while we got to know each other. We talk about meeting up and exchanged numbers pretty quickly so our conversation moved to texting. This is not really my favorite thing for a few reasons. First, if you can’t even make the effort to open your dating app to message with someone, are you really going to be able to put in the effort to make a relationship work? Second, I hate having my phone contacts taken up with numbers of random guys that I only went on one date with or never even met. I know this is just a personal pet peeve though so when the conversation takes us there, I will usually go ahead and exchange numbers. After getting tired of naming guys in my phone with their first name and then the dating website I met them on as their last name, I came up with a fun new method. I don’t even add the guy’s name to my contacts until we’ve gone on at least one or two dates and things seem to be going well. Now I don’t have to deal with 5 different Matt’s in my phone contacts, and if a random number texts me after 6 months still trying to see if I will date them, I know that it’s not a good idea to respond. Yes, this has happened. 🤦🏼‍♀️

Red Flags

So back to Samir. As I said, our conversation turned to texts, and it quickly went from the simple get to know you questions to a bit of a weird place.

Umm did he just ask if I live alone? This gets my mind turning a few different ways. Is he just trying to hook up and wants to know if we will have a private place? Does he want to start stalking me? Is he just asking an innocent question trying to make conversation and he’s not aware of how it might have come off as creepy? I avoid a direct answer to the question and luckily he didn’t harp on it, so I take that as a good sign. The conversation continues on a more normal track for the rest of the evening.

What is it with these recent guys I’ve been dating wanting to pick me up on a first date? How do they not know this is not a thing you do with online dating? At least he’s cognizant enough to understand that’s something I might not be comfortable with, but that’s now two moments that put me a little bit on edge. Luckily our date isn’t for another week so I have some time to get to know him more and try to make sure he’s not a super stalker before i meet him. And Samir didn’t waste any time, texting me again the next morning.

And then the next day, he’s back again.

I promise we had already talked about the fact that I am a dance teacher in our Hinge conversation, but i guess his memory’s not that great.

Ugh, puke. Did he really just say that? This is why you should not text someone you haven’t even met yet every single morning. By the third morning of this and with that angel comment on top of it, I start getting mildly annoyed.

Ugh! I hate when guys say things like that. I’m more annoyed than offended. I get that being a dancer is kind of a mysterious thing, but can we not even try to be a little more cultured? And what the f*ck is a casual dance anyway? A lap dance? A random little cha cha cha? We leave that topic and move on to planning the details of our upcoming date.

Did I really just agree to a date at 8:30 am on a Saturday? I must have been mad. Those blue eyes of his were quite enticing. Literally no one can be at their best and brightest for a date that early, but at least there will be coffee. Before we get to our date though, things took another strange turn.

More Red Flags

Wait. What? I’ve been able to brush off a few of the other creepy things he’s said, but this one is way to f*cking creepy.

So he’s looked at my dating profile pictures so many times he wants more. This guy is certainly making himself a memorable one in my lineup of one date wonders. (Sorry for the spoiler, but clearly this guy is not the one) I’m starting to rethink if I even want to go out with him, but I’m also very invested at this point and we are meeting very early at a very public place. Not entirely sure why, but I decide to humor him with a retired dating profile selfie and hope it will help us get off this topic fast.

Well perhaps if you weren’t creeping me out with strange requests for pictures, I’d be more willing to share more about myself with you, sir.

We continue talking a bit more about what we are looking for and then I call it a night in anticipation of our very early date the next day.

A Tall Drink of Coffee

Well readers, it may have been early in the morning, but the absolutely stunning blue eyes and cheeky smile did not disappoint. This guy was just as good looking in person as he was in his pictures. Our conversation went well, or as well as it can go when both parties are still waiting for the caffeine to kick in to fully wake up. I may not have been as sharp as I would normally be, but I gave it my charming best. We talked a lot about cricket which is a baseball like game I knew nothing about. He played for a league team and had a match that afternoon which is why our date had to be so early. I left the date feeling less creeped out. Samir seemed like a genuine guy, although I wasn’t quite so sure if he was as mature as I had originally hoped. He actually seemed a little shy or insecure in person. A strange quality to find in a guy who was so bold to ask for more pictures of a lady. I expressed an interest in seeing him again and wished him well in his match as we went our separate ways.

Oh god. Is this guy really falling for me that much already?

Well so much for not feeling creeped out by him anymore. What is it with this guy and the picture thing? I really don’t even want to think of what he’s doing with them if he’s looked at my profile pictures so many times already. Especially when it was about 11pm when he made his latest request.

Second Date?

A couple of days later, we take a stab at trying to plan date 2.

So we have a tentative second date plan, but no specific day or time when it will happen. We continue to make conversation through text the next week when things get a little uncomfortable again.

What is with this guy’s obsession about me living alone? Lots of people do it. Also, that comment about not sitting around watching tv all day definitely didn’t age well into 2020. Pandemic life, am I right?

I don’t hear much from Samir over the next week or so and go off on summer vacation with my family. I figure maybe he’s lost interest in me or something since we’ve never followed through on our second date, but I’m not entirely bothered about it. But while I’m on vacation, I hear from him again.

The freaking picture request again? Will this guy ever get the hint and stop asking? Maybe if you want to see me that badly, you should have actually followed through on our plans for a second date. I was really getting fed up with this so my response was pretty sarcastic this time.

Confused by his strange dinner question mark statement, I answered with a question of my own. And that was the last I heard of Samir. Not typically a fan of the dating ghost, but was honestly a bit relieved for this one. What do you think readers? Was this guy a total creep? Just completely obtuse? Would you have kept talking to him for as long as I did or would you have let him go sooner? Online dating isn’t always fruitful, but it sure can be entertaining at times.

Until next time,

xoxo

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