The Summer of Love and Ghosts

Photo by Oleg Magni on

In the summer of 2019, I was determined to turn my dating luck around. I went back to my trusty friend,, and I made myself a goal to message at least one person a day to hopefully cast a wide net and pull in a few good fish. If my past experiences had taught me anything, it was that you would have to message a lot of people before getting a response and finding someone that you really were interested in pursuing. So off I went on my summer hunt.

Oh Canada!

First up, I went out with an attractive guy from Canada who was currently working in the US. Maybe the problem all along was that I’ve been looking for guys from the wrong country.

We had a nice time getting drinks at a local brewery and our conversation seemed to flow well. At the end of the date, I was confident that I would like to see him again, and the feeling seemed mutual. As I patiently waited to hear from him again, I got the dreaded silence. No texts to continue our conversation or confirm whether he wanted to see me again or not. I was brooding over the whole situation and how my summer of love wasn’t starting out so hot when my friend challenged me to reach out to the guy. What’s the worst that could happen? Well, I could be rejected again, but as disappointing as that is, maybe it’s better than not knowing at all? Plus, I used to be the ballsy girl who didn’t care about conventions of waiting for the guy to contact me, so why was I changing my tune now just because I’d been disappointed a few too many times? So I did just that, and well I got rejected. Although he had a good time with me, he admitted he had also been seeing another girl and decided to pursue that relationship. Thwarted by bad timing again! Would I have preferred to just never know about this? Maybe. But it also felt good to have some closure and not just wonder about another dating ghost drifting off in the night.

Pizza and Beer

Next up that summer was Dave. After the usual get to know you chatting, we met up at my favorite local restaurant and bar that serves the best pizzas. I had a really good feeling about Dave from our conversations, but I tried not to let myself get too excited beforehand. When he arrived, I felt an attraction to him right away. He was not too tall (a bonus for tiny me), and had great energy. We got along very well, and had some nice connections. He seemed like a good family guy and even though he lived a bit far from me, I thought this date had some great promise. We both expressed an interest in seeing each other again and continued to text back and forth. Could I have finally found a decent guy? Put one in the win column, at least for now.

We planned to get together for bowling for our second date. It ended up having to be delayed because he had food poisoning, but a couple of weeks after our first date, we met up for our night of friendly competition at the bowling lanes. Again, we had a really great time making friendly wagers about who would have to buy the next round of drinks based on who could get the better score each round. Date two was going well, and we talked about plans for a third date before parting for the night. Sadly, that date never happened. We texted a bit back and forth, but Dave would never commit to a time for our next date as he was getting too busy with his new job. Hmm where have I heard a story like this before? And then I just completely stopped hearing from him. I was bummed about this one because we seemed to have great potential, but alas another ghost lost to the windy world of dating. 

Lipstick Guy

This next story quickly became a classic in my dating tales as I began sharing it with friends. I’m sure the title alone has you on the edge of your seat. This date took me to a suburb for a dinner and outdoor summer concert with Steve. Judging from our Match messaging, I thought Steve was likely a bit nerdy and while we might not have as natural of a connection as others I had been out with, he seemed to have a good heart, and I was interested enough to give it a try. He also worked in tech for theaters so we had a nice connection with our interests in the performing arts. Dinner was ok as we stumbled through a bit of first date awkwardness, and then we headed to a nearby park for the concert. The music was good, there was some fun people watching, and overall it was a decent evening. We finished things off with a walk around the lake. Although I had a nice time, I wasn’t feeling particularly attracted to Steve, but still he seemed fun and interesting enough to continue getting to know. 

Steve also happened to be the organizer of a meetup group so he invited me out to a bingo event at a local brewery the next week. This piqued my interest as a fun event to attend without the pressure of technically being on a date. It was a good way to continue getting to know each other, but having other people around would keep the conversation flowing if things got a bit awkward. Again I had a fun time, but wasn’t really feeling a physical attraction growing. Then, when I got home that evening, he dropped a bit of a bomb.

Ummm what?? Was this his way of flirting with me? He really threw me off as it went a little past flirting into the weird realm when he asked for details about it. Does he want to recommend the brand to someone? Is he just trying to get to know me? Does he like to wear makeup too? We did end up going on one more date, but in the end I couldn’t get past the awkwardness and so I was ok with letting that relationship float away when neither of us continued the conversation from there. 

So my summer of love was more like a summer of strikes. I made a few almost connections, and even though they didn’t quite workout, I felt a little bit of hope that maybe there were some decent guys still out there, and I could find love one of these days. Stay tuned to see what happens next.

Until next time,


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